New year... a new you ?

You know it. I know it. We go through the same saga every year...

"Finally! A New Year means a new YOU."

We've been fed this new year narrative since... forever. A new year means - join a gym, eat healthy, better skin, better everything - Change literally everything about yourself. Is this really true? But why?

In some way, the new year brings a surge of motivation to change our old ways and the new year gives us the opportunity to change "shed" our bad habits and achieve goals. Motivation is great, but how do we keep it without feeling like shit when we don't achieve it. In addition, why must we create such unrealistic goals? Who's best interest does this really serve?

Statistics show that by the time March rolls around, most "New year resolutions" are abandoned. People stop going to the gym and fall into usual habits - or worse find excuses why they can't do it - "...maybe next year"

I am definitely guilty of this. I've been giving the same bunch excuses for so many years that it makes me physically sick to think about it. Even worse, I sometimes obsess that people negatively judge me when they ask "So how you going with (insert venture here)." So good for my self confidence right ?

Somehow we put this invisible timeline over our lives and guilt ourselves if we don't achieve this within the "New Year".

So what do we do now? How do we rid ourselves of this guilt. Stop making goals?

Don't make promises? Then what's the point of even trying. I think the right question here is, how do we achieve the otherwise unachievable.

I once read that repeating an action everyday for at least 14 days triggers the brain to make the action a habit. I try and keep this thought in the back of my mind when flossing my teeth - i'm a horrible flosser. The point is, 14 days doesn't sound like much, but from experience, I know that from about day 7 it can be hard to hold the promise.

The truth is, there is no right answer or perfect "10 step program" to achieve your goals. The best advice i've gotten is - always start small. Don't set yourself up with a crazy goal of - "This year I will loose 50kg!" - When your mind and body may not be ready for it.

Making a habit of a small mini goal is still a win, no matter how small. - "This year I'll give up soda"

So starting small - as an example - making the bed in the morning. After two weeks it'll become habit.

Next, perhaps journaling.. write about your day every evening - This is a game changer for me. (i'll write about in another blog post)

Then putting away dirty dishes and so on... Before you know it, what seemed like a task is now just part of your daily routine.

Another little "chicken nugget" to keep in mind is, if the task takes 5 mins - do it. Why not? 5 minutes wont drastically alter your day, but you got the task done - win.

Sooner than later your year will look a lot different from when you started.

Several small goals = big growth

By doing these small goals, that may otherwise seem mundane, frees up and clears the mind of clutter once they become habit. With time, you will feel confident in attempting a greater goal. What is important is the growth, not the length between hurdles.

On a more philosophical note, don't feel as though a new year means changing your past self. Remember that it's the past experiences that make up who we are, who YOU are.

Don't forget about past struggles. Embrace them. It happened. There's no going back. It's made you stronger today. Life experiences make you wiser.

As the great Katya Zamolodchikova once said "If you've one leg in the past and one on the future, you're pissing on today."